It is often said “My life is only once”. I totally agree with that. Every life is precious because everyone is unique. Because life is only once, I think it is very important to make the best of it. I do not criticize those who may decide to end their own life, but if there is any possibility at all, we all should try to live. Maybe soon the perspective changes and becomes totally different. And the thing I absolutely categorize as bad is when someone prevents, damages or intentionally limits someone else’s life (not in case of accidents). I think those people really do not understand the precious value of our unique lives, which are only once…
Mr. Hideo Okamoto and Dieter Pasching, Vienna 2018
At Sakuyo Music University there were lessons of Religion. The founder of this university, Mrs. Fujiko Matsuda, wanted to receive advice of her teacher of Shin-Buddhism (Jodoshinshu) in order to establish that institution. Then her teacher told her that a university should not only teach subjects relevant to the studies but should also provide care for the heart. And so she decided to include lessons of Religion at Sakuyo University. That was also one reason for me to choose this university, because I was interested in Religion. In the first year, Mr. Hideo Okamoto taught Religion for my class. I was interested in religion but I wanted to handle this subject strictly in order to avoid being taught senseless things. I thought that if the teacher told some strange thing that I should immediatley clarify that thing and I attended those lectures with a rather critical attitude. However, the first lecture of Mr. Okamoto there was not a single aspect for me to criticize. With my rational mind I could understand everything. Only one thing I could not understand. And that was “truth”, which Mr. Okamoto used in the lecture. After the lecture I went to him and asked him what “truth” was. Then he asked me what I thought “truth” was and he invited me to his research room. He made some tea for me and I thought about it for a long time what “truth” might be but I could not find an answer. Then he explained about “truth”, I listened, affirmed it but I did not fully understand. I think it takes time to understand “truth”. After that, I attended many lectures of Mr. Okamoto outside of Sakuyo University such as “Reading Tannisho” at Yoshida instrument shop, etc.
I regard this encounter with Mr. Okamoto as an important turning point in my life. Then one of the most important doors opened for me, then I could be reborn in Buddha’s teaching. Until that time I lived my life without aim, with uncontrolled vices such as greed and envy, pretty fearful of unexplainable things, but then a light appeared to show me how I truly am and through this I can lead my life alive and happy. My aimlessness and vices become stronger but I recognize the presence of this light, apologize, ponder it and continue on the path of life…
Mr. Okamoto already made it clear in the very first lecture that religion is “heart teaching”. In Japan Religion is called “Shukyou”. “Shu” means centre and “kyou” is teaching. Therefore “shu” is synonymous with heart and so it all means “heart teaching”. This is “truth teaching” , only a teaching for our heart. It is not human moral, not created out of human perspective such as commandments, morality, punishment, etc. No unexplainable wonders or creation exist in this truth teaching for our hearts.
Recently, in the latest and last book by Stephen Hawking there was quotation of a passage: “He goes on to explain that the only God who could be consistent with the laws of physics would be a deity who never directly influences the workings of the universe.” I can say that is Jodoshinshu, truth teaching of Buddha for our hearts…
Mrs. Shoko Yamasaki, having studied piano in Germany, told me once something like “In Europe all musicians are living in the same world”. She meant that in Japan her world and that of famous pianists are totally separate. But in Europe she experienced that all musicians are colleagues and competitors at the same time. Upon coming to Vienna I also understood this, one feels the world of classical music to be close. It seems that it is not impossible to receive the possibility to work as a musician. Mrs. Yamasaki said “We are the same as Ashkenazy or Pollini”. Of course it is extremely difficult to become a professional however I think this attitude should always be preserved. I do not know the world outside of classical singing but unfortunately it cannot be said that all musicians have the same standing. I often experienced musicians of European-looking descent to receive preferential treatment. Naturally I do need to understand that this is European music and surely they take pride in this culture. However if this is connected to prejudice, this becomes rather disappointing and sad. For example I experienced the following: At an audition in Vienna, each candidate was allowed to choose one piece freely and if the Jury liked it, the candidate would be allowed to present a second piece. That was a big audition for an agency, not for one specific Opera or role. There I saw the woman in charge of opening and closing the door to the Audition room. When a candidate of European-looking descent went in, she fully closed the door. But when a candidate of foreign descent (not European-looking) went in, she did not even make the effort of fully closing the door, which meant that they would not be allowed to present a second piece. When I understood that, I felt huge disappointment and contempt. That means one cannot receive the chance to be heard properly.
My voice is a lyric Soprano. That means one has to really make an effort and strive to become a Prima Donna. Many female singers are in this category and therefore there is much and hard competition. For this type of voice there are many beautiful and admired roles such as La Traviata, La Bohème, etc. I heard that in this repertory there is almost no possibility for non-European-looking singers. I was invited to perform my debut as Mimì (La Bohème). That means the theatre confirmed my way as an opera singer, which has deep meaning and I am very grateful. Furthermore I could also perform Violetta (La Traviata) and Gilda (Rigoletto) in theatres and I am very happy.
Above: Announcement of Performance “La Bohème”.
Below: Review about performance “La Bohème”, February 16, 1998 in România Liberâ
My piano teacher during Highschool was Shoko Yamasaki. She was a young teacher having just recently graduated from University in Germany and she told me much about Europe. I was especially moved that Europeans (Germans) place great importance on whom to study with and therefore choosing your teacher yourself. I also wanted to choose my voice teacher in Europe. I collected much information and I decided to go to Vienna because I had heard that there it would be possible to study Opera, Lieder as well as other genres of music. At that time there were many Japanese music students in Vienna and I could immediately get to know some of them. They said it was very good that I wanted to choose my own teacher and they told me that there are many for whom it was predetermined who they should study with. It sometimes happens that one no longer wants to study with a teacher but due to circumstances one has to stay with that teacher. Before coming to Vienna, I did not know any voice teachers here and I started to visit the Music University listening to lessons and looking for a teacher. Mrs. Kiyoko Ichikawa helped me a lot with that. She is from Kochi, which is also my hometown, and had already studied accompaniment in Germany and Austria, which was why she could speak German well. I decided to study with Prof.Franz Lukasovsky. His profound knowledge was admirable and I could really study well with him. Back then, I could not speak German well and Mrs. Ichikawa thought it good for me to also study with a Japanese teacher, who was Mrs. Yoshié Ichige and Mrs. Ichikawa often accompanied her on the piano. I was a beginner and Mrs. Ichige’s patient and diligent lessons were really good for me. She was like a mentor to me as an artist, as a Japanese and as a human being. I have great respect for her.
I was accepted to the Vocal Department of Vienna City Conservatory. At that school I did not know any teachers and therefore did not write down any name of desired teacher on the application form. Even though the entrance exam was extremely difficult and almost impossible without any connection to some teacher, I was overjoyed by having been accepted as a student. Unfortunately my assigned teacher and I were not a good match. Surely it was not because of her, it was just that I was looking for something else. I had to quit attending the voice faculty. One year later, at the same Conservatory, I was accepted to the “Opernschule” (Opera course), which was very popular because every year each student had to study an entire role in order to perform a whole opera on stage with costume, make up, Orchestra etc. Again, I did not know anybody there and therefore had no protection by anyone. My position at that school got weaker and Prof. Lukasovsky (from Music University) wanted to help me. He even came to listen to my dress rehearsal at the Conservatory and also in other ways supported me. He knew one teacher at Conservatory and talked to him about and for me. They decided to send me to a new teacher at the voice department. Prof. Lukasovsky said that him being from a different school would bring me difficulties and therefore we had to part ways. I thought that was great compassion and a great gift by a teacher. Unfortunately the new teacher as well was not good for me and so I came to study with Prof. Toma Popescu (teacher of Mrs. Ichige) at his own “Studio Internazionale di Belcanto” in Vienna. (I finished my studies of the opera course without a voice teacher from that institution and after that I attended and graduated four times from the one-year “Operettenlehrgang” also at the same conservatory. Since I did not have a voice teacher at the same institution there were many problems). Prof. Popescu was also voice trainer at Vienna State Opera and his studio was of a high level. Thereby I could make a step towards being a professional singer. I think there are many misunderstandings about Prof. Popescu . Mrs. Ichige, his assistant, also said that people who only study with him a short time do not understand his teaching. But studying concretely and for a longer period, one gets to understand how profound his knowledge and understanding about voice was. His teaching towards a radiant and brilliant voice is something that classical singers must never forget. That shows that he had studied in Italy. Sadly in 2014, at the age of 93, he passed away. From 2014 until today I have been studying with the famous Italian singer Fiorenza Cossotto. With her I deepen my vocal technique, interpretation, etc. I am constantly amazed by her vocal technique, passion for singing, and her caring personality,among others. Previously unclear things become ever more clear and that provides freedom of expression, which is a great joy. She really is a wonderful teacher and personality.
The teacher is really important and therefore I am so happy that I could always study with the teachers I wanted to…
In the third year at Sakuyo Music University I decided to diligently study voice. Speaking on the phone, I told my University piano teacher about it. Her name was Michiko Kamioka and speaking to her on the phone I sensed she was surprised by my decision. During the conversation her husband, Yoichi Kamioka, who was also a respected composer and teacher at Sakuyo Music University and also from my hometown Kochi, took the phone and told me to come to their House immediately to talk about it. Back then, some of their students went from Tsuyama to their home in Okayama to visit and to spend quality time with them and their children in a familiar and relaxing atmosphere. When I arrived at their home, Mrs. Kamioka had already prepared food for me and they were very nice to me. Mr. Kamioka said “No matter what we say, you have made up your mind, haven’t you?”. I often remember that time and it always feels familiar. Often when I have problems I rely on their advice, still to this day, and I have high respect for them.
More diligently study voice. How? I thought of a few ways. For example, study again for a second time from the third year or apply for some entrance exam as voice major, or go to Europe and start studying voice there. The third choice was due to strong influence by my piano teacher Shoko Yamasaki. She was a student of my piano teacher in Kochi, Mrs. Yoko Moriki. After graduating from University in Japan, Mrs. Yamasaki continued her studies in Munich, Germany and after graduating from that University in Germany she returned to Kochi and took over some of Mrs. Moriki’s students. I also was sent to study with her when I was in Highschool. Mrs. Yamasaki told me a lot about Europe, which was very interesting. The second big influence were my ancestors. My Greatgrandfather (mother’s Side) was a painter of European style. In Order to deepen and Advance his studies, he travelled to the USA and Europe, even though at that time the only way to do so was by ship. I love my hometown Kochi and I did not really want to leave. I even hated travelling. However, if I want to truly and concretely study something, I do need to have courage and furthermore, there was the convenience of air travel. I was always concerned with my grandmother’s health but she passed away when I was in my second year at University in Japan. I was left with mother and father and for them it was ok for me to study in Europe. My father was a teacher and had deep understanding for education. My mother also spent her childhood in Taiwan and was influenced by the painter and therefore not very concerned about staying abroad. First, I decided to graduate from Sakuyo Music University and then I would go to Europe. I think in terms of studies I am very lucky, since many people would like to study in Europe but due to some circumstances many can not do so. If I was graced to receive that opportunity, I thought I wanted to study thoroughly and diligently and I wanted to become a person who would be able to transmit knowledge of good music like all of my teachers.
At Sakuyo Music University in the Music Education faculty, from the third year onwards I chose piano as major. I also received voice lessons, which were no longer private but rather group lessons and compulsory. In the third year our teacher was Mr. Masato Nishida and the subject was Japanese songs. In the fourth year our teacher was Mrs. Yukie Maeda and the subject was German songs (Lieder) such as the whole Zyklus of “Frauenliebe und -leben” by Robert Schumann. That was very educational and later as a singer this experience very much benefitted me.
At the beginning of the third year in the first lesson with Mr. Nishida, he told me he was very surprised that I had not chosen voice as a major, which he found disappointing because in his opinion I had a beatiful voice. Many years later I found out that at the exams at the end of the second year I had received the highest mark. I gathered all my courage and during the next lesson I spoke to Mr. Nishida privately and told him that I wanted to study voice intensively. After that I was allowed to receive his private lessons and that was the first time I could study opera arias (such as Mimi from La Bohème) and songs by Bellini, Donizetti, Verdi, etc. and also some German Lieder as well as some oratorio arias. This repertory remains to this day my own and I think that he gave me a correct task which I should strive to perfect throughout my whole life. Mr. Nishida is an alumnus of Tokyo Geijutsu Daigaku (Tokyo University of the Arts), where he also received his Daigakuin (postgraduate degree). Back then I was of course a total beginner who maybe did not understand everything completely but I tried to do my best but as my studies progressed I truly understood that he had received a very high education. I heard that his father had also been a professor and very strict in terms of education. Mr. Nishida began studiying the piano but he passed the entry exams for voice. In this sense I feel that I am a bit similar to him, which I find an interesting coincidence.
During the first two years at Sakuyo Music University, there were compulsory private voice lessons. I was assigned to Mrs. Keiko Motoyoshi and when I received the news that I could study with her, I was very happy because she was from Kochi (my hometown) and a respected Prima donna. When I was a Highschool student, I attended her Opera Performance as Madame Butterfly in Kochi. How fantastic it was! That was my first experience with a live opera performance. Since she was also a graduate of Sakuyo Music University, that was another reason for me to choose that University. I cannot express how much I rejoiced about being able to study with her and I thought of myself as very lucky. She really embodied the image of an Opera diva, her appearance, her voice, the way she carried herself, were something to aspire to. We started the studies with old Italian arias (Arie antiche). Because I had always really enjoyed listening to records, I had listened to exemplary recordings of those arias. During the lessons with Mrs. Motoyoshi, she exactly taught the same Interpretation as those exemplary recordings and I learned quite a lot from her Italian pronounciation. It is very impressive that she had profoundly studied in Japan as well as in Italy. At that time I wanted to change my major to Voice but comparing myself to her I thought that I was not sufficiently talented to become an Opera singer. As a Teenager I was phsyically rather weak and my Musical Orientation and image were very instrument-like, which made me think that I could not become like Mrs. Motoyoshi. Therefore in the third year I chose piano as my major but the lessons with Mrs. Motoyoshi taught me the spirit of singing, which was a wonderful experience. Later in Vienna, I studied Voice to become a specialist and here I am! Although I did not continue to study with her, Mrs. Motoyoshi always keeps supporting me, is always nice to me and keeps giving me good advice. Every time I see her, I feel as though I am experiencing Italy…
I was accepted at the education faculty of Sakuyo Music University, where I received private lessons of Piano, Voice and Violin for the first two years. In the third year, students had to be Orchestra members and for that students were prepared during the first two years in an Orchestra instrument. Although I had never studied violin before that time, I had to start learning it. During the first two years I planned to study piano and voice in Order to decide which one of those two would be my major. However in that time I practised violin the most. My teacher was Mrs. Noriko Kobayashi, a very attraktive young lady but also very strict. She was a wonderful and famous Violinist with a high education and she had to teach students like myself. Having never touched a Violin before I was a complete beginner. The first lesson, I did not even know how to hold a violin and so she mercilessly slapped and corrected my hands. Because I was so completely unexperienced, there was no alternative to practicing and also Mrs. Kobayashi did not accept laziness. Once a week there was the violin lesson and I really had to study and prepare for that. The lessons were filled with her screams “too high, too low!” and often I studied in tears. Also I felt sorry for such a splendid teacher having to teach such a student as myself but behauss of that I could make progress in a short amount of time. Although I could not believe it at first, but in the third year I really could play in the Orchestra (Symphony Nr.8 by Antonin Dvorák among others). For her passionate and patient lectures I owe her gratitude. She made one very important thing very clear to me, which was that my hands were small and week and therefore unsuitable for instruments. That was a very honest opinion coming from an artist and that also was one of the reasons which propelled me to choose Voice as my major. One day she said “Your violin is a cheap instrument but it nevertheless produces beautiful sounds”. Then I thought I should value this violin and continue to study violin but I could not. Recently, after decades, I opened the violin case and noticed that it was in bad shape, which made me sad. One day, I would like to refurbish this instrument and practice a little…
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